Truth of Love
by Janx
Summary: Akane has been hiding something from herself behind a curtain of anger. Now the truth has come out of hiding.


Truth of Love: Compromise is the Key  
  
Disclaimer: Ranma and Akane belong to the Kami of Manga, Rumiko Takahashi. This is just my little way of worshiping her.  
  
By: Janx Note: Just wanted to thank my prereaders and editors Torai and Paucey! This is my first post so please feel free to drop a review or send an email. Can't become a better writer without feedback. ^__^  
  
Alterverse/Continuation  
  
The nights' full moon spread its mellow illumination across the sleeping city of Nerima. Excepting for the occasional martial artist leaping about from roof to roof going about personal business the city slept. It is in this silent night that Akane Tendou found herself before the koi pond. The moonlight reflecting from the surface of the pond revealed the path of tears down her heart-shaped face. Her eyes, usually filled with a burning sprit matched only by a particular pig-tailed martial artist, were red rimmed and overflowing with despair.  
  
Akane cast her gaze forlornly into the darkened waters of the pond as moonlight beams danced upon the occasional ripple. 'Oh Kami-sama.what am I going to do?' She pulled her jacket tighter around her as a small shudder rippled down her muscular frame. 'If I tell him the truth it will destroy him, and if I don't the truth will eventually tear us both apart. Why did he have to fall in love with me. why did I have to fall in love with him! Damn our fathers for making that agreement to engage us. I know now for sure that I love him, but now I also know that I will never be truly happy with the way things are with him!'  
  
Akane let her mind drift back in thought to the last few months after that disastrous marriage attempt. Ranma's attitude had begun to change toward her. He didn't put his foot in his mouth as often as he usually did. He was much nicer to her. 'He even managed to keep enough money to buy me yellow carnations, TWICE, for no apparent reason other then to be sweet! We even managed a handful of dates that were so pleasant and uninterrupted. Like when we went to the fair and he won me that stuffed horse. I loved those times, but at the same time I hated it! Poor Ranma. No wonder he always said he couldn't understand women. I confused the hell out of him because I didn't understand myself.'  
  
Akane's shoulders dropped and uttered a deep sigh of regret. 'And how did I repay his kindness and thoughtfulness? I got angrier and pounded him harder and more often! On top of that I kept making dinners and lunches for him. I can admit my cooking is bad.now. Only a guy in love would force himself to eat that slop I tried to call food. No matter how sick it made him he would still force himself to eat it!! Damn him! By Kami, I'm an evil bitch. I can't hide the truth behind a wall of anger any longer. I can admit I love him and that makes the truth all the worse to bear. Why is this happing to me? Why did he have to propose? Oh why.'  
  
"Akane?"  
  
Her breath caught in her throat and her gut twisted itself into a tight and nauseating grip at the sound of her whispered name. She didn't turn because she didn't need to. For the first time she could feel just how cold the night air was as it seeped through her cotton pajamas.  
  
"Akane?" He asked again as hands that had the strength to crush concrete to powder gently wrapped a warm blanket around her shoulders.  
  
"Ranma."  
  
"Can.can I talk to you for a minute."  
  
"S-sure."  
  
Ranma moved down next to her, with only the rustling of his pajamas betraying his movements. She kept her eyes down cast. For the first time since she met him, Akane was truly afraid to look into his blue eyes. Afraid of what she would see in them and knowing that it was she who had put the pain in them.  
  
They sat in silence for a few minutes, minutes that felt like they were stretching on into infinity.  
  
Finally, he broke the silence. "I'll be leaving tomorrow. I'll tell our fathers that the engagement is off for good and I'll move in with mom."  
  
"W-what?"  
  
"I.I want you to be happy Akane. I'm sorry for getting you wrapped up in my weird life. I've treated you bad and ya didn't deserve any of it. I'm sorry Akane."  
  
She could hear the pain in his voice. He was trying to be tough and hide it, but she could tell. Just like a man. 'Damn it! Why did I have to fall in love with the baka.' Fresh tears began their journey, following the trails left by their predecessors. 'I have to tell him. He deserves to know why I said no after he proposed. After everything he's done for me. For saving my life again and again. For taking on and killing that demi- god Saffron. For the hell I've put him through day after day.for getting his hopes up only to tear out his heart at the last minute, he's more then earned the right to know the truth. Oh Kami-sama give me strength.'  
  
"Ranma."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"When you asked me to marry you yesterday." She heard him take in a deep breath. "I was as surprised I said 'no' as you were, if not more so."  
  
"What!"  
  
"Ranma. I-I love you to."  
  
Akane could almost hear the gears in his head creaking as they tried in vain to process that information.  
  
"Then you do want to marry me?" He could not contain the air of hope in his voice.  
  
"Yes.and no."  
  
"Its because of the curse isn't it?"  
  
"Y-yes."  
  
"Damn. I knew it." Ranma rubbed his face in aggravation. "I'm sorry Akane! I shoulda never've asked ya. You shouldn't have to marry a sex- changing freak like me even for family honor. Ya deserve a whole man to make ya happy." She could feel the self-loathing pulling him down like quicksand. 'If he sinks far enough he might bump into me eventually.'  
  
Akane casually brushed a lock of hair behind her ear while taking a deep breath and mustering up all the courage she could. 'Gotta do this now before I lose my nerve.'  
  
"Ranma.when you pulled out the ring box and got down on your knee I was all prepared to scream YES to the heavens, but instead No came out. I was shocked! How could I say no. I knew that I loved you but why did I say no? You have no idea how bad it hurt me to see the pain in your eyes. I couldn't face that and that's why I ran away. I sat in my room all night crying trying to figure out why I couldn't say yes." Akane took another breath and pulled the blanket a little tighter around her. "I-I think I started growing up after China. I began to see beyond my anger and that night everything came crashing down. All the barriers I hid behind fell and for the first time in my life I started to see the truth." A sob broke through her resolve as the memories of the lies she had allowed herself to believe in.  
  
Ranma heasantly placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "It's ok Akane, I understand, you don't have to explain nothen."  
  
She wiped a hand across her eyes and sniffled a few times. "You baka. Yes I do. You deserve to know the truth." She whispered, "How you could come to love me, I'll never know. Especially after the hell I put you through. Always hitting you for things you didn't deserve, calling you a pervert, forcing you to eat that crap I tried to call food, and never believing in you. I'm an evil bitch! I was as blind as Kuno and crueler then Kodachi!!"  
  
Ranma peered up into the night sky. "Well I'll agree the cooking part was cruel, but the rest I didn't help any with my foot stuck firmly in my mouth." He lowered his head to see her face in profile, 'So beautiful.' "Sayen you're an evil bitch is goen too far though. The only person who's more caren than you is Kasumi."  
  
"Heh! Yeah well it seems I didn't care enough to stop hiding from the truth. I didn't care enough to stop hurting you now did I?"  
  
"Akane.what are you trying to say?"  
  
After a series of shuddering breaths and pulling at the last strings of her resolve, the dark-blue haired beauty pressed confessed her sin. "Ranma.l- last night I r-realized that.that.that I'm a lesbian."  
  
"...whaaa?"  
  
With the words spoken the rest just poured forth. "I guess deep down I always knew, but wouldn't admit even the possibility to myself. I was in complete denial. I managed to shove the truth back along with the pain of my mother's death. I associated the truth with the pain of her loss. That way I couldn't face it without dredging up the pain of her passing. But no matter how hard I hid from it the truth was still there and it affected the way I acted, thought and felt. When Kuno convinced those boys to start fighting me every morning I was terrified! I was afraid that if one of them did manage to beat me then he could then force me to do anything he wanted. Just the thought of possibly being raped terrorized me to the core! I HATE being afraid, Ranma, I absolutely HATE IT!" Akane trembled with deep-seated revulsion  
  
"Then I came along." Whispered a down cast Ranma.  
  
Akane turned her full attention upon the man who had brought so much happiness and despair into her life. "Yes, then you came along and set my world spinning out of my control. I still remember the first time I laid eyes on you. You had a look in your eyes that just screamed out 'Please somebody, I'm so alone!' I felt like I had met a kindred spirit. I remember how much I desired to take you in my arms and tell you everything would be ok, to comfort you, to take away the pain. Instead I did the next best thing I could think of. I offered to be your friend."  
  
"Friends.didn't last long did it?" He stated forlornly.  
  
"No.no it didn't. After I found out that my new friend was in fact both that 'pervert' in the bath and the girl who had just beaten me so easily in the dojo left me feeling betrayed, scared, and angry. I felt that you had deliberately tricked me just so I would let my guard down."  
  
"Akane, I didn't.I wouldn't."  
  
"Shhhh. I know Ranma. I've known for a long time now." Akane paused for a moment to filter through her emotions that those old memories were stirring up.  
  
Taking another full breath of chilly night air the dark-haired beauty continued on. "After the engagement was forced on us by our families I was only more scared and I've already told you how being scared makes me feel."  
  
Understanding lit his face as realization hit him. "Ahhhh! So that's why you were so angry with me all the time. I.I scared you cause you thought." he could barely continue with the line of thought. ".you thought I would f- force you to.to.to." He couldn't finish speaking, it hurt too much to think that she thought he might try and rape her. That he would hurt her like that.  
  
"Yes. I feared you where worse then the other boys and that scared me a lot! And to cover my fears I acted in anger. But I soon realized that you weren't like other boys. You wouldn't do that to me, you would NEVER hurt me like that."  
  
"No. I would never ever ever."  
  
"I know Ranma. I know."  
  
Moonbeams danced across her deep brown eyes as she gazed into the heavens. "As time went on I began to realize that we most likely weren't going to get out of the engagement and a part of me wanted the engagement while at the same time another part of me didn't want anything to do with you. When the other fiancés started showing up I only got more confused. While one part of me wanted to let one of the others have you the other part wanted to hold onto you even tighter. Whenever one of the other girls started to show affection toward you I got so confused. I was angry with you for seemingly playing with the other girl's hearts, I was jealous because they would throw themselves at you. Since I perceived that you were the source of my confusion I would lash out and smash you with whatever was handy be it mallet, fist, table, boken, or any other hard object within reach."  
  
"Even with the hell I put you through you still didn't leave me and I began to wonder what it would be like to be married to you. I didn't want a loveless marriage and by that time I had gotten to know you a lot better. You rarely opened yourself up, but the few times you did I saw somebody that I could care for if not love. And that only confused me more and since I couldn't understand WHY I was so confused I became EVEN MORE angry. But despite all the confusion I grew to love you as a person. When you were in your female form I felt this deep need to be close to you and that feeling stayed with me when you were male.but it felt wrong somehow. I just chalked it up to my feelings that all boys were perverts.  
  
"Things started to get worse when I started to fantasize about you and me being together intimately. I would get really excited when I pictured us girl/girl, but I would shake it off thinking I was being a pervert for thinking like that. When I fantasized us girl/guy the feelings were very confusing to me. On one hand I felt I would enjoy it because I was in love with you, but another part would balk at the idea. After a while I allowed myself to enjoy the fantasies of being with you as a girl, because I convinced myself that I was getting used to the idea that if we were married there was a chance that I would need to make love to you as a female.  
  
Ranma was in a state of utter shock at the revelations the woman he loved was giving him. "So what you saying is that all this time you were really just in love with my female side and not me?"  
  
Akane sighed. "Yes and no.  
  
"Yes I realize now that I fell in love with you the first time I laid eyes on you as a female, but 'no' because I came to love you as a person and not just as a cute girl who made my knees shake."  
  
"Last night I finally faced the truth I had long hidden from. I was angry with you because I was a lesbian who was forced into a marriage with a man. I came to love you with all my heart, but when you asked me to marry you I realized in that moment that I couldn't have a truly happy marriage. I wanted.no.needed a woman. Even though you turn into one of the most beautiful girls I've ever laid eyes on I knew you would NEVER be a woman. You hold your masculinity in high regard just as you were raised to. You truly are a man among men even when you have breasts."  
  
"And that's why you said 'No'" the pig-tailed martial artist finished.  
  
"Yes." Guilt filled that one simple word.  
  
Ranma stood from his seated position and began to walk away. After a few steps he stopped and cast his eyes back to the young woman. She couldn't bring herself to look at him. "Thank you for telling me the truth Akane." With that he disappeared into the twilight.  
  
Afterwards the only sound that broke the stillness of the night was the quiet sobs for a love lost.  
  
  
  
  
  
Epilogue:  
  
Akane sat alone in her room staring without really seeing out her window. It had been a month since Ranma had left and she hadn't seen him since. He hadn't even shown up for school. She would have been crying again, but after spending night after night crying herself to sleep she seemed to have run out of tears to shed. There was emptiness within her. She cast her gaze down to the picture she held in her hands. It was her favorite picture. It was taken last year when the whole family had gone to the beach. Ranma had managed to keep some money out of her sister's greedy little hands and had purchased the silver picture frame and had given her the framed picture as a Christmas gift. Besides the emptiness it was the only thing of him she could hold near her heart. He had come into her life like a whirlwind and left it like a thief in the night stealing a part of her away. Her musing was cut short when a soft knock sounded from her door. Without looking up she called out quietly. "Come in Kasumi." Kasumi had been checking up on her regularly since that night a month ago. Akane was thankful for her caring nature, as it had helped her greatly get through her anguish. The door slid open with barely a sound on its tracks then closed again with just as little noise. Akane heard soft footfalls approaching from behind and yet she still did not look to her oldest sister.  
  
"Akane?"  
  
Akane attention lifted from her beloved possession. The voice was soft with a hint of fear. "Kasumi.?"  
  
"No.not Kasumi."  
  
Her breath caught in her throat and her gut twisted itself in a tight nauseating grip. 'Oh Kami-sama! That voice. It CANT be.'  
  
Akane stood and turned to face her guest. "Ranma?"  
  
Indeed it was Ranma. But not like she had ever seen Ranma before. He, rather, she stood before Akane with a nervous edge to her. She was dressed in a short black skirt and a white blouse under a thin navy blue sweater. Instead of her usual battle slippers she wore polished loafers and simple white ankle socks. Akane had seen Ranma in girl clothes before but she couldn't help but notice that the petit red head seemed comfortable wearing them as her posture indicated. Ranma was forced to wear girl's clothes from time to time but she always gave an air of discomfort in them. Not this time. The clothes weren't the only changes Akane noticed. Ranma wore makeup as well. Ranma NEVER wore makeup. And her hair! Instead of the trademark pigtail it flowed freely about her shoulders and had been cut and styled in a very feminine fashion.  
  
"Ranma? What are you doing here? What's with the outfit and makeup and why do you have your hair like that?"  
  
Ranma twitched nervously; her hands seemed to not know what to do with themselves. "Ahhhh.you don't like it?"  
  
"No, that's not it at all. You look very lovely. But WHY is what I want to know." 'Stunningly beautiful is more like it but I cant tell him that.'  
  
"Ummm.well.you see." The red head stuttered out. Ranma was in near panic. She had thought she was prepared for this moment but now that it was here her brain had locked up in fear.  
  
"What is it Ranma?" Concern filled her voice.  
  
"Well ya.you see after that night I thought about everything you said. I thought about my own feeling and I came to the conclusion that there was no way I could live my life without you in it. Without you I.I." Ranma's voice caught in her throat. ".I realized there wasn't anything I wouldn't do for you. You mean everything to me Akane and I'll do ANYTHING in my power to make you happy."  
  
Akane's eyes grew round as she began to realize the implications of his dress and his words. "Ranma?"  
  
With a new reserve of strength the red head pressed on. "For the first time in my life I made my own choices. Mom wasn't too happy to say the lease, but after I explained to her what I wanted and that she could either live with my decision or I would leave she agreed to help me. For the last four weeks I've been on a special training trip with mother. She helped me come to understand and accept the curse as a part of who I am now. I am both a man AND a woman. I know I still have a ways to go but.but between you and mother I know I can become the woman you need. If you say you'll have me I'm even willing to make a trip to China to get the Chiisuiton and make this form permanent. What do you say Akane, can you accept me and make me a part of your life?"  
  
Akane's nearly broke again seeing the fear and longing in the young woman's eyes before her. She knew Ranma was afraid she would be rejected. That was one of the martial artist's greatest fears. Instead of speaking immediately Akane stepped forth and gathered the trembling red head in her arms and held her lovingly.  
  
"Oh Ranma.I can't ask for you to do this for me. Being a man is too important to you." She whispered into the frightened woman's ear.  
  
"I'm not asking for your permission Akane. This is my decision to make and I've made it. Being a man isn't as important to me as being with you is. I've learned in these last few weeks that I CAN be a woman if I want to be. Even as a woman I can be a great martial artist. As long as I have the Art and you nothing else matters."  
  
Akane pulled back and looked deeply into the blue pools Ranma called her eyes. There was that determined look that Akane had come to recognize. It meant Ranma had made a choice and nothing would stand in her way.  
  
"You really mean it, don't you?" Surprise echoed in her words. "You would really give up being a man for me."  
  
Ranma nodded her head quickly. "There's nothing I wouldn't do for you. NOTHING!"  
  
Akane had been wrong about one thing; she HADN'T run out of tears to shed. Tears of relief and happiness marched their way down her cheeks.  
  
"Akane?" Ranma asked seeing the woman she loved begin to cry. Despair and fear prickled at her name.  
  
"Oh my silly baka." Akane pulled the smaller woman further into her embrace. She sought out the red heads pouty lips and for the first time tasted them. No further words were needed for Ranma. She arched her neck and pressed her ruby lips with fiery passion. They held each other for what felt like eternity before relaxing.  
  
Ranma settled her cheek against the slightly taller girls shoulder, her slim arms wrapped around the girl's waist.  
  
"I love you Akane."  
  
"I love you too Ranma."  
  
Akane placed a gentle kiss upon her lover's forehead. "Ranma, there is just one thing I want you to do."  
  
Ranma raised her head to gaze questioningly into the dark-haired beauty's soft brown eyes. "W-what is it Akane?"  
  
Akane simply smiled in reassurance before continuing. "Ranma, I don't want you to lock yourself in your female form for two reasons. One, It's illegal for two women to get married in Japan." Her eyes twinkled with mirth. "Two, I want to have children someday."  
  
Ranma's eyes grew large for a handful of seconds as that last statement sunk in. Then a bright smile spread across her face as she arched her neck and kissed the woman she loved with all her being once more.  
  
Nothing more need be said. 


End file.
